These are all things that I LOVE when people do them.
- Stand far away from the mic, and definitely don’t point your mouth at it.
- If the mic is wireless, definitely hold it like a “cool rapper” and cup the top – not only does it look great and sound great, you’ll be able to smell the breath of the last person before you. And who wouldn’t want that?
- Speak or sing as quietly as possible. If I don’t have the gain knob all the way up, you’re too loud.
- If you’re using a guitar, make sure the amp is louder than anything else on stage – who else can compete with the drums?
- If you’re a drummer, be sure to play much louder during the show than you did in sound check.
- Tell the engineer that something doesn’t sound right, but be sure to do it within the first 3 seconds of hearing it – the less of a chance they had to fix it beforehand, the better.
- Touch the gear. Isn’t it pretty?
- “Oh, that’s the old stage plot. The input list is different too.”
- Tell the engineer that it needs to be louder. Much louder. Despite the fact that the speakers might already be catching on fire.
- Give the engineer your phone to play a track. Especially if it’s playing something from YouTube, the obvious pinnacle of audio quality.
You forgot not knowing the difference between stage right and stage left.